7 Things I think are stupid.

There a lot of things I think are stupid, but here are 7 of them that have recently been on my mind...

1. FALLING ROCK SIGNS

I will never understand the point of a falling rock sign. If I see this sign what exactly am I supposed to do? Should I drive faster? Should I slow down? Is there something I should be doing to prevent these rock avalanches like keep my yodeling to a minimum? 

All these signs really do is stress me out. I wonder, "how big are these falling rocks? Are we talking pebbles or boulders?" I then envision what I would do if a rainstorm of pebble sized rocks just fell or worse yet, just a huge boulder, right in front of my car or right on my car, AH! What a terrible way to go? And if I did die because of falling rock would people end up judging me? ..... "Did you hear about Paige? Yeah, falling rock, that's tough. But there was a sign and everything, it's not like she wasn't warned."

2. MONKEYS BEING CALLED "CUTE"

"I pretty"

When people say monkeys are cute I NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY!!! WHY???!!!!! Why are monkeys cute? Is it just me or are they not just uglier, hairier, naked people? THEY ARE!!! How narcissistic of us humans to call the species of animals that most resemble ourselves cute. 

Ironically, people that look most similar to monkeys are NOT considered cute. In fact, they're considered to be extremely unattractive. Intense brow, hair everywhere, bad posture. They would be caveman like! And I think we've all seen from the GEICO commercials that caveman are not celebrated for their looks, they face a lot of harsh discrimination. 

So let's stop saying monkeys are cute. They're just not. It offends me that people would describe a monkey as cute and then call a puppy cute. That's just not fair to the adorable puppy.

3. WHEN PEOPLE SAY CAMPING IS A VACATION

A trip to Disney World is a vacation, going to the beach is a vacation, a Caribbean cruise is a vacation....CAMPING is NOT a VACATION!!! I have no problem when people say they are going to go "rough it" in the woods for a few days, but when people word it like they're going on a vacation and then tell me it's camping, well that's just stupid. 

Some will disagree (but this is my blog so I will define words however I please) but how I define a vacation as a time of rest and relaxation in an improved state compared to your normal life. Camping is WORK. Camping takes away the comforts of home. You go from a soft bed to the hard ground. You go from air conditioning to waking up sweaty with morning dew covering your face. You go from a microwave to a fire. You actually choose to make life harder on yourself and call it a vacation. No, I'm sorry, I'm not buying what you're selling.

Yeah, good choice.

4. TURTLES (the species, in general)

Congratulations Turtles! You're God's most cowardly reptile/animal! Sorry little zombie child who likes "tudles", I don't share your sentiment. I can't bring myself to celebrate the animal that's instinct is always to retreat.

How do these man turtles ever pick up lady turtles? When the lady turtle asks the man turtle what he'll do if someone comes to mess with them what does the male turtle reply "ummmm well, i'll probably just crawl back inside my shell, so you'll pretty much be on your own there, but you're welcome to do the same." My hero? No, no thank you Mr. Turtle.

5. WHEN PEOPLE PRONOUNCE MATURE, MATOOOOORE

Ohhhhh if you want my blood to boil just pronounce the word mature "matoooore". It sounds so snotty, so pompous, so, so, so STUPID. I hate it!!! I sometimes actually wince when I hear this pronunciation. Can't, handle it, won't handle it. As a speech therapist, this is my number one priority. 

6. PAYING FOR GRADUATION CAPS AND GOWNS

Haven't sucked enough money from me Penn State? Well, you got your one last shot at my bank account when you charged me 82 bucks to buy my graduate school cap and gown. But this wasn't the first time you've done this to me. You recall my undergrad graduation too don't you? Where I already shelled out the cash to wear a blue gown and blue cap instead of the black cap and black gown with awkward sleeves and cheap velvet cape.

I feel, that having poured blood, sweat, tears, and a ridiculous amount of money into my education you could at least just give me the the cap and gown for free.

Or at least just factor it into my tuition so I never no the difference.

7. TRAFFIC CIRCLES

Sorry New Jersey, you know I love you, but traffic circles are of the devil. I'm like 95% confident that the transit system in Hell is one never ending traffic circle.

It seems simple enough...I want to make a left turn, but I can't, why? Because it's illegal. The "solution"........ a circle of death??!!? Cars everywhere, no one knows where to turn or if they do they aren't signaling to let me know. No one knows who has the right of way or which yield sign is pointing to who. Are there two lanes? One lane? Four lanes? I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!

Often when approaching traffic circles I find myself praying aloud to make it out alive! They're stupid.

Toddlers could design for better traffic patterns.

"I'D DO A BETTER JOB!!!"